This evening, my wife is watching a co-worker's young daughter, for free, Mud and Jeff, cause that's how people treat each other. My four daughters are of course tickled to have a little baby in the house (the child in question is about 5 months younger than my youngest). My kids wanted to watch a Christmas movie, and my wife gave them a choice between "The Grinch" and "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer". My six year old wanted to watch the Grinch, but the rest voted for Rudolph.
So, to explain the voting to our guest, my four year old told her, "The Grinch is a scary movie. There's a Grinch in it."
Bill Cosby could do a whole years worth of shows with her in less than four hours.
On Heaven and Hell
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah'.
The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to hell?'
The little girl replied, 'Then you ask him'.
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."
Have you seen God?
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, 'I'm drawing God.'The teacher paused and said, 'But no one knows what God looks like.'Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, 'They will in a minute.'
As long as I'm working on pissing off our liberal trolls, I would like to give a public thank you to the agnostic who saved Christmas. I received a very generous gift from J.O.B. in today's mail. Although we disagree on some relatively important issues, I am sure glad he fell into our circle of friends. If everyone could be as good a man as he is, we wouldn't need religion, or jails. Merry Christmas, Johnny.
And Merry Non-Denominational Winter Celebration, Mud and Jeff.