We dropped her at her class at 8:15. At 9:30, the principle called and said we had a problem. Apparently my little girl took her pocketknife to school. She wasn't showing it off, or threatening any of the other kids with it, but the teacher found it when she went through her bookbag.
My daughter admitted that it was her knife, but said she didn't know how it got into her bookbag. I'm pretty sure that was a lie, and I have talked to her about lying, but if she had a lawyer, that would have been what he told her to say. The principle told my wife that he was sure it was an unintended accident, but we can't let it happen again.
Fast forward to 3:00 high. I go to the school to pick her up, and I have to discuss this rule with the assistant principal. My immediate assessment of him was that he was a draft dodging liberal. He explained to me that weapons (of any kind) are forbidden at school, and the next offense would be expulsion. Expulsion? Over a f%$king pocketknife? I couldn't let him get away with that, so I told him the definition of "weapon":
A weapon, arm, or armament is a tool or instrument used with the aim of causing damage or harm (either physical or mental) to living beings or artificial structures or systems. In human society weapons are used to increase the efficacy and efficiency of tasks such as hunting, fighting, defense, the committing of criminal acts, the preserving of law and order, and the waging of war.
I then told the sanctimonious SOB that the school required me to send my kid to school that day with 4 sharpened #2 pencils in her bag. Now I'm no liberal chickenshit, but I'd rather be attacked with a one and a half in pocketknife blade than a nine inch pencil. In the hands of a trained killer, a pencil is a nasty weapon. In the hands of a trained killer, a plastic spoon is a nasty weapon. In the hands of my seven year old little girl, a pocketknife is a tool used for cleaning her fingernails, or cutting threads, or sharpening her #2 pencil. Besides, if she wanted to hurt anyone in that school, I have already taught her the "wrist lock" and the "reverse wrist lock" which will put a grown man on his knees begging you to please stop hurting him.
When I was in school, I carried a pocketknife everyday, unless I had lost it. Then I didn't carry one until I had mowed enough lawns or raked enough leaves to get a new one. I may have been in a fistfight or two on school grounds. I may have been in a fistfight or two off school grounds. But I never pulled my pocketknife to threaten a kid. They would have just laughed and called me a queer (very offensive in the late seventies and early eighties, at least for real boys).
But I never had the principle call my folks on the first day of school. Way to go, girl.